Sa-Wat-Dee Thailand

The journey into Thailand was uneventful, the main difference between this and any other was the sheer number of people at the border, I don’t think we’ve had any queues this long before, it’s funny to think that back in Pakistan, crossing into India we were the only people at the border crossing, we also had to sit around for over half an hour as they waited for the power to come back on so that they could process our passports! It was also the busiest no-mans-land we’ve passed through as there were people everywhere! Once through the border we were not able to continue on the same bus as we were then transferred to minibuses which made the country seem instantly posher!

It was with an air of excitement that we arrived in Bangkok, so much to see, so much to do and only 3 nights and 2 days to do it in. What a great city, I so enjoyed wandering around, passing through all the different markets, seeing all the various street foods on offer, wandering through our own touristy area with its busy market and pub life, Khao San Road is another fantastic place to sit and people watch. Especially as day turns into night and the scenes in front of you change accordingly, the people get drunker and some of the street vendors start to offer a different variety of wares, none of which you would want in your bag for any Asian border crossing!!

We took a trip out to the popular floating market near to Bangkok, and it was nice to be taken around the canals in a little boat, surrounded by other little boats, some full of tourists, others selling food and souvenirs, sometimes congestion halted our progress but any boat is always fun for me. What wasn’t fun? This is not what we all come to see! The place is packed to the hilt with tourists and tourist tat, all the stalls selling the same things (at bumped up prices) and sometimes when you don’t buy they don’t like it. Places like this make me wish I was not a cog in the tourism machine, what was once an amazing little local market is now yet another place in the world where the tourists provide the money and the locals are just slaves to the industry. Their previous way of life has disappeared and in its place they find themselves practically begging people to buy their goods, they get haggled down and get angry at tourists, tourists become unfriendly in return and the atmosphere is tainted. The whole thing is tainted and I hate being a part of it. These are the kind of places I sometimes want to avoid on my journey, but I have to experience this to appreciate the other places a little more, and like a good little tourist... I still took a photo!

That night we went in search of a ladyboy drag show, the best known and most talked about one is not open as they move venues so the only one we’ve found takes place in a nightclub and we have to entertain ourselves until it opens. We headed to the touristy area of Patpong, a great wee night market is in full swing and we headed to one of the local gay bars where we passed a few hours with some lively karaoke! After that with still a few hours to kill we headed for the tourist attraction (I use the word very loosely) of a ping pong show! Girls shooting ping pong balls and various other bits and bobs out of their bits and bobs! Here, the ladyboys only dance as clearly they cannot partake in the main attraction! It was a bit cringe-worthy, but funny also, best when the girls were laughing and looking like they don’t hate their job. The funniest part being when a ping pong ball hit me in the chest and stuck to me!! I had goo in my hair!! Once that was done we headed to our drag show and weren’t disappointed, several ladies took the stage in amazing make-up and sparkly dresses, miming their hearts out as others danced in the background. I really enjoyed my night. At the end of that the lovely sparkly compeer must embarrass some audience members and who better to choose than our very own baby-faced Dan! ‘Are you sure you’re not gay, are you sure?’ they taunt as they take him on stage and physically molest him! I take my hat off to him as not once did he let out his girlish squeal as he stood there, hands in the air, taking the various stages of fondling like a man! Bangkok lived up to its reputation that night and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The next day we took a map and conducted a self made walking tour of the city, passing the palace, wats, gardens, Chinatown, bridges, various monuments and sitting Buddha’s. I’m delighted to see how much character Bangkok still has, it’s still very much an Asian city despite its richer areas with high rise buildings and fancy restaurants there are still loads of lovely little cute parts of the city bustling with locals. The highlight was the Sky Bar, though it wasn’t open. Once of the poshest high rise buildings in the centre is home to a 65^th floor restaurant and outdoor bar and there is a strict dress code that we failed as backpackers for several reasons! As the bar has been made famous in the film ‘Hangover 2’ the owners are happy to allow visitors up to that floor to take photos from inside and despite our current attire the lift attendant kindly points out that they open at 6pm should we wish to change and return, it’s lovely to not be judged ‘not good enough’ by someone in such a posh place. From there we headed down to the river to catch a ferry back up to our part of the city and got to enjoy the pleasures of another boat journey, seeing the city from another angle and passing yet more buildings which demonstrate the variety in wealth on display here. That evening was spent people-watching on Khao San road while trying and failing to find another show to go to. A fantastic day in a fantastic city, another couple of days would not have been wasted here.

We left Bangkok to travel to Kanchanaburi, home of the Bridge over the River Khwae and various museums dedicated to the Death Railway and war cemeteries. Another story which came as new to me, prisoners of war and citizens were used to build a very tough 415km stretch of railway linking Thailand and Burma during World War II by order of the Japanese. In the building of this around 100,000 people died from starvation, disease, accidents and mistreatment. The Japanese were fierce slave-drivers who forced people to work without enough food or medical supplies, even when someone was literally dying and could barely stand up from exhaustion, malaria, dengue fever, they were still forced out to help with the railway. Over 400km of railway including hundreds of bridges were completed within 16 months! While the original bridge was bombed parts of it have been used in the rebuild and the one that stands there today takes both pedestrians and trains across it.

We hired bikes to cycle around the area and ended up at some more Buddha caves, the best Bhudda caves we’ve visited yet. The path took us about 30 or 40 feet underground into deep caves which were great fun to explore, made better by the fact that around every corner there was a Buddha wedged into a crevice! Stalagmites and stalactites create beautiful surroundings as we clamber over and under the rocks. Nearing the end it opens into a large cave with a couple of bats flying around, off this is a smaller cave with even more bats flying around our heads! We’re then taken up steps and pop out into the real world again, sweat pouring off us but all the happier for finding such a fun little place to explore. Next stop was one of the 3 war cemeteries, they’re well kept, beautiful gardens and it’s really nice to see such care is still taken over them, there’s even a dog that seems happy to stay here and watch over the place.

We also hired a couple of small but fast boats to take us up and down the river for an hour. We split into two groups and raced each other along the River Khwea Yoi having a great time to ourselves, it was only lunchtime and yet we passed much bigger boats with parties going on aboard, loud music and dancing!! We hovered nearby to poach some music and then zoomed away on our fun boats.

Kanchanaburi is the first taste of really amazing Thai food. I am in love! The curries and the soups are just so delicious, while they’re all similar in that they have many of the same ingredients; they are all very different too. Tom Yum is the spicier coconut soup, Tom Kha is not spicy but a slightly sweet coconut soup, Massamai curry is a coconut curry, Patang curry is a more aniseedy flavoured coconut curry using an aniseed flavoured leaf we’ve found in a couple of other dishes. I was so preoccupied with these dishes it took me until the last night in Thailand to remember to try any of their better known coloured curries, the red the green or the yellow, tastes of which have left me wanting more! As far as culinary delights are concerned two weeks in Thailand is just not long enough, I cannot eat enough to fulfil my required intake of Thai flavours, I must endeavour to learn more about these dishes when I return home. Even my beloved pork porridge has been dumped at breakfast time in favour of Tom Kha! How can I ever go back to the western world where we don’t have rice for breakfast?!

Kanchanaburi  to Ko Samui was a longer journey with an overnight train, a bus, a ferry and then a minibus. Once we arrive though we have 5 days on this holiday island to relax, recharge and explore, relaxing being top of the list as we’ve been on the go quite a lot lately. The island has a ring road of about 100km and various other small roads branching off it, beaches dotted around, forested hills in the middle and various towns spread around, it’s fairly built up and there are plenty tourists. The nearest beach to us is a nice little bay with another small island at the end which you can walk to at low tide. Once again, the food adventure continues and we are lucky to be staying near a variety of street vendors who all serve fantastic local food usually between 50p and 2 GBP, I wish I could eat more than two meals a day while I’m here, but I am just never hungry enough!

We hired mopeds for a day to go around the island and see the local sights; the big Buddha (one of them) stands tall overlooking a gorgeous blue/green bay. The mummified monk, who is not mummified at all, is a dead body propped into a sitting position as was his wish, on display in a glass box outside his temple, it’s not an attractive sight made worse by the Rayban sunglasses covering his eye sockets! Continuing our moped tour we climbed hills, explored some forest tracks and got soaked at an alarming rate when we got caught out in a down pour. We then visited some well known rock formations of Ko Samui, the Grandpa and Grandma Rocks which are really just rude shapes found on the shoreline and turned into a must see tourist attraction.

For our last night in Ko Samui some of us went in search of some more ladyboy and drag shows. The nearby tourist haunt of Chewang provided us with a selection of shows to choose from and so we opted for two. The first was a tongue in cheek show on a tiny stage with all the feathers and sparkles we could ever have dreamed of. The second was a scaled up version of this on a proper stage with proper seating and beautiful flirtatious waitresses trying to woo the men into spending more money. It was a really great night, we sang our hearts out as they mimed at the top of their lungs and it fulfilled our need for Thai ladyboy entertainment. It was also interesting to see all their different glitzy costumes and to note how they have been adapted depending on what stage of physical alteration each dancer has reached, for example some have their cleavage out while others have it completely covered as maybe no operations have taken place. No matter, they all put a lot of effort into their performances and made our night amazing!

Leaving Ko Samui we get back in our minibus, onto the ferry and then board a bus to Surat Thani where we stop for a few hours to await our night train to Malaysia. A busy hotel housed us for those few hours where I sat people watching in the lobby and noticing all the single ladies arriving to keep people company for a few hours and then leaving later on, once again the adult industry is showing its face as night time calls to the lonely.